HEYYYYY! Where have you been this past week? So I’m sitting here thinking about how people lose the sense of who they are through toxic relationships

has been a part of my journey.

I know I did after 19 years. What are the actions you still have to take, to regain who you are? What have other people made you believe about yourself?

What’s “your thing?”

It is necessary that you start shifting your thinking from, “ I used to do this” to, “I am pressing the restart button, and on my way to…” Do things that you enjoy for yourself and by yourself starting TODAY.

If you want to be in a healthy relationship in the future, it starts with having a healthy relationship with yourself. Many of us have self-destructive relationships with ourselves and then we don’t understand why we don’t meet anyone. We can’t expect what we can’t offer. When I was married, I was asked for instance, where do you want to go for dinner? I would say, “where ever…anywhere you want is fine.” Little by little, you start getting complacent with other people’s needs and wants and you ignore your own. You lose your voice. I remember being so unhappy at one point in my marriage that I realized (and I believe I told him) that there is no way I could be making him happy, if the person he was living with was not Julie Tarazona anymore. I had turned into a bitter person who automatically put her guard up as a defense mechanism. I became a person who screamed all day, either to him or my children or a clerk in a store, or anyone who I felt I could lash out on.  If I didn’t put my guard up, there was a possibility of getting hurt, again, in one of those nasty fights we used to have.

On September 15^th 2017, I decided to take action, after realizing, that this dysfunctional relationship of 19 years made me loose myself. I was so scared…but I made a decision you guys.

 

You are the most important person in your life. Therefore, you MUST take care of yourself and your needs. Do you dance, sing, play sports, work out, ice-skate, go to the movies, talk for hours with friends?

I realized I wanted to be ME again and I wanted him to be the best version of himself also. I no longer was willing to tolerate pain. I wanted pleasure. I wanted happiness, I wanted love. I also knew what I didn’t want, but I didn’t verbalize what I didn’t want because like we discussed in the previous blog entry,  I knew that verbalizing something is bringing it into existence. I decided that day to start a new life, and a new way of thinking.

I decided to soul search. I decided to find me again, regardless of public opinion. I decided to be an example of determination and drive and fearlessness. I decided to take care of my body, because a healthy body image is important. I had ups and downs of course, but personal development saved me. Personal development is crucial if you need to find your fiercest self. Books, Audiobooks, You Tube Videos, attending seminars, hiring a personal coach (yours truly), seeking the help of a therapist, or listening to positive affirmations about yourself daily.

This my friend is the only way to begin finding yourself. So now we know that your thoughts become a reality and therefore we will slowly change them. We also know we avoid making decisions because of the pain that we attach to those decisions. Finally, we learned that self-development is key.In order to start working on yourself make a list of the things you WILL DO in 2019. Not the things you “want to do”.

Let’s get you back.